Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Round 3 and on: Dead Continue to stockpile bodies

Round 2 (from trade with Missouri) Evil Dead take Lou Marson, a catcher from the Phillies system. He lacks big power, but is projected to be a pretty good hitter, and pretty good catcher. He has trouble speaking English.

Round 3: Evil Dead take another catcher in Max Ramirez. Ramirez can flat out hit, but his defense is terrible. Hopefully he can still learn to catch, otherwise he will be pushed to another position.

Round 4: Dead draft SS Ben Zobrist. Zobrist is expected to play SS on days when Khalil Greene is unable to go. Zobrist makes up for his 4-range fielding with a good power card. "He will be pretty good coming off the bench," says Mark Ewing

Round 5: Chinese take a chance on reliever Jose Mijares from the Twins. Only 10 IPs were logged in last year, but Ewing sees him as a possible good set-up man in the future. Good fastball, good slider.

Round 6: Sean Rodriguez, INF-Angels: 23-yr old prospect shows some power and Defense. Dead scouts could not pass him up.

Round 6B: Ryan Speier: Rlf Pitcher, Col: age 29. Evil Dead think he could be part of the relief corps, if he keeps the ball down.

Round 7: David Roberston, Pitcher-NYY: age 23: Robertson is only 5'11", but wracks up the strikeouts with a low-90's cutter. Ewing keeps on perfecting the bullpen.

Round 8: Craig Monroe: DH-type, Craig is a former Twin who blasts LHPs with ease. Ewing thinks there is a spot on the bench for the Craigster. And to think Ewing used to berate him for his stupid golf-like swing....

Round 9: Tyler Clippard: Pitcher-Washington: 24-yr old: probably a bit of a reach for the Evil Dead. Clippard hasn't shown great control, not even in Tibet, but he gets strikeouts and if he can fix a few things, he could turn out pretty good.

Round 10: Travis Denker: 2b-SD, 23-yr old, bats R: pretty good hitting stats in the minors, and he was rushed to the majors....but he may top out as just a utility guy.

Round 11: Bobby Korecky: Rlf Pitcher, 29-yrs old: Bobby had been wracking up a lot of saves for the Twin's Triple-A team, and Ewing thinks he may get a major league job now that he has signed on with Seattle.

Round 12: R.A. Dickey: RH Pitcher, 34-yr old: Dickey is currently trying to catch on as a reliever for the Twins. Ewing used to coach knuckle-baller Tom Candiotti, and now Dickey is trying to see if he can master the pitch. "I am rolling the dice on him," said Ewing. "This is his 2nd stint on the Evil Dead."

Round 13: Chris Carter: OF/1b: 26-yrs old: Carter showed tremendous power potential and drew many walks in AAA. He strikes out at an alarming rate. "He's a long way from the majors, but we will see if he keeps improving", said Ewing.

That is it! The 2009 baseball draft is done for the Evil Dead.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Round 2: China Tabs Young Power Hitter: Mat Gamel

Manager Mark Ewing announced the Evil Dead's 2nd round pick today as Mat Gamel, 3b, Milwaukee Brewers system. Born in 1985, Gamel bats left, and has tremendous power, something the Evil Dead have lacked. He should hit for a high average. The question is where will he play, since he seems to be a butcher at 3b. Look for him to play most of the year in, you guessed it, Tibet....to work on his fielding.

Gamel was flown into a Chinese camp where he was briefed on the teachings of OUR LEADER: Chairman Mao. Frank LaLonde presented Gamel with his nickname: KZ Syndrome. He also received a pick axe and some movie tickets.

Gamel was happy to be drafted by the Chinese. "I am happy to be here in the fight for freedom from the USA Imperialist Stooges. I really hate the Missouri Fightin Farmers. God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of the Chinese," said Gamel.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Evil Dead Shocker: Pitcher David Price drafted with 6th overall pick

(Chinese) Manager Mark Ewing was never afraid to tell anyone who would listen that he would "never draft a pitcher in the first round". He also would exclaim that he would "never use a left-handed starter". With all the 'experts' penciling in OF Travis Snyder to be the next Chinaman, it was David Price who was called upon to be the future of the Dead pitching staff.

Born in 1985, David Price attended Vanderbilt University, he has a great fastball AND a great slider. Mark Ewing knows the pick is a bit risky. "I could get chased out of China with this pick, but I don't think I will. Price is elite, he is an amazing pitching prospect, I just had a gut feeling that this is the guy I should take."

David Price will be known as: "Black Friday" according to Frank LaLonde.

Sunday, February 1, 2009


Brian Wilson: A Welcome Closer Is Acquired by Evil Dead

(Chinese) For 5 years, Evil Dead fans have complained about Chinese never having a real closer. On 30Jan09, Brian Wilson (SF) was picked up along with a 2nd round pick from the Missouri Fightin Farmers in exchange for OF Shane Victorino and OF Coco Crisp. "The Dead OF was very crowded with all the young guys finally getting playing time, so we felt we could move a few guys to get Brian Wilson, a hard-throwing Righthander", said Manager Mark Ewing. He will join the bullpen along with Dennis Sarfate, Brandon Morrow and Hong Kuo.

In other news, young pitching prospect Shawn Gallagher was traded for a Missouri 6th round pick as the Dead worked to get the roster down to 25 men.

Longtime Evil Dead players OF Willy Mo Pena and RHP Jason Jennings were cut. "Pena just couldn't do it, we have to give up on him now, and Jennings is hurt, so we will just leave him with no job and no hope, baseball is a tough business," said Ewing.
posted by Mark Ewing at 5:18 AM 0 comments

Sunday, June 1, 2008

2008 Season ends: Dead go 67-95

Evil Dead Year by Year

2008: 67-95
2007: 56-106
2006: 51-111
2005: 66-96
2004: 34-128

Mark Ewing's record for China falls to 274-536, a winning percentage of .338, he is perhaps the worst manager of all-time. He has done nothing to turn the team into a winning franchise. He will be back in 2009,

Monday, April 28, 2008

Evil Dead have Divisional games for May

The 11-13 Chinese Evil Dead have 30 games set for May, all versus their divisional opponents: 10 games each with: The 11-13 Blaze, The 15-9 North Queen Spartans, and the tough 17-7 Missouri Fightin' Farmers.

Roster move: Willie Mo Pena is sent down to Tibet, to make room for rookie P Kevin Slowey. "I need more options out of the bullpen", said Manager Mark Ewing. Slowey gives up the long ball, but with games at Royals Stadium and RFK Stadium, we could keep it to a minimum."

When asked how the Dead plan to keep improving, Ewing said, "I need Pedroia to start hitting, otherwise I'll keep Upton butchering things over at second base. KGreene better start driving the ball too, Kevin Fransden may get a look at SS, we need guys to hit and drive in runs."

Evil Dead finish April with 11-13 record

The Chinese Evil Dead finished 11-13 in April. The hit .271, and ERA of 5.12. Ewing coached them to a 9-3 road record, but the opponents beat them for a 2-10 record.....what the heck...

Delmon Young is the April player of the month: he hit .345 (29-84) with 7 Dbls and 6 Hrs.

Dan Haren is the Pitcher of the month: 4-2, 2.55 ERA, 3 CGs and 1 shutOut.

Rookie Dustin Pedroia hit only .191, and Andy Sonnanstine pitched a 0-2, 8.02 era to win the Goat Awards.

Manager Mark Ewing is happy about the progress of the Evil Dead. "I really see a difference this year, especially in the hitting, Hermida, Delmon Young, Victorino, Morneau are coming through consistently with timely hits all the time, we have never had this before." Ewing knows the pitching is still a step behind. "Kyle Davies, Scott Baker and Andy Sonnanstine have been bad, and my relief has been terrible as well. We will keep plugging away, but I need my guys to learn and get ready for next year."